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Best Ever Fruit Cake!
Before you start, sample the whiskey to check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the whiskey again, as it must be just right. To be sure the whiskey is of the highest quality, pour one level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.
With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, make sure that the whiskey of of the highest quality. Cry another tup. Open 2nd quart if necessary.
Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups of dried druit and beat 'til high. If Druit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey again, checking for tonscisity. Then sift 3 cups of salt or anything, it really doesn't matter, sample the whiskey.
Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add a babblespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find and wix mell. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 degrees. Now pour whole mess into the boven and ake. Check wheksey and bo to ged!
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